Monday, March 15, 2010

Killin' Time

So, I'm sitting in the parking lot at the West Cobb Marketplace as I type this. It's 9:52a. I have to be in Woodstock, which my GPS tells me is about 30 minutes away, for appointment between 11:00a and noon. I've already been told that it's going to be closer to noon. In other words, I find myself with some time to kill.

I've already been to Dallas GA this morning. It was a rare set of circumstances that lead me to two appointments in the same day and so far this morning has reminded me how much I enjoy being "on the road" as they say in our company's vernacular. The stress of getting to your first stop on time, the chemically induced jitters that come with a large cup of coffee, the thoughts, work related and not, that go through your head mixed in with the sounds of the AM radio. I love that.

If you need to make a restroom stop, use a Publix (if you're in Georgia or the southeast). The bathrooms are clean and you won't get hassled for using the restroom and not buying anything. Quick Trip works well for that purpose too. Maybe I'll even grab some Arby's for lunch today... it'll be just like "old time" when I was "on the road" constantly.

I woke up Saturday morning iching to go on another trip. By Saturday night, I'd booked my plane tickets and set everything in motion. I love having that degree of flexibility. I made myself wait about 12 hours to book the plane tickets, just in case I needed to talk myself out of it, but I wound up bolstering the case for myself mentally. Who knows that the situtaion will be next year... maybe I won't have those options then. You just never know. That was the same mindset that lead me to take the job with Amica, and its required relocation, out of college. I knew that there may never be another time for me to relocate and it was something that I wanted to be able to experience. It's easy to justify things to myself that way, prudent a person as I may be.

I feel like I could jump over this car right now. I don't drink coffee all that often, so on days that I do, it's like shooting cocaine directly into my aorta. Could you even do that with cocaine? I guess you'd have to mix it with something, I don't know.

It would be nice if I had a wireless card, I could get some work done while I sit here. I'm just too far out to head to the office, so there really isn't much I can do at this point except wait. I couldn't justify the cost of a wireless card to the company, no more roadwork than I do these days. But days like today, I would be nice to have.

Do you remember that scene on "Stand by Me" when Gordy wakes up early and is writing in his journal by the train tracks? He sees that deer stumble out of the woods and stand for a minute near the tracks. Gordy and the deer lock eyes for a few seconds and the deer trots away. In the movie, Gordy's monologue is "The passing freight train woke the others and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer, but I didn't. That was the one thing that I kept to myself. I've never spoken of it or written of it until now." I can think of a couple of things that happened in my life that are along those same lines, that immediately after they occur, I grab my phone or blackberry so I can tell someone. But then I stop and decide to keep it to myself, to hide it. I don't know why. Some things I just feel better about if they're "mine" and that alone. There's no real reason for it, I suppose that I just find more peace that way. I wouldn't want someone to think that I was bragging or given to hyperbole or anything else. And on days like today, when I'm killing time, I can revist those places in my mind and remember them and they're mine, they haven't been disturbed. They may not always stay that way... one thing that I greatly enjoy when I'm becoming emotionally close to someone is to ask them to tell me something that nobody else knows. I love having that degree of trust with someone and in those moments, some of my hidden things become revealed. And some stay hidden, waiting for other moments.

I don't like it when people compliment me very much. Well, I do like it some, but I don't have peace with it. When they tell me how well I do with work or how funny I am or that I should do this, that, or the other because I'm good at it, I just want to change the subject. I know why that's the case, I've figured out why I react that way. Maybe you know that too, although if you don't, I guess you can figure it out for yourself, if you like.

Potenially I have jury duty tomorrow. I'm a standby. I'll find out tonight if I have to report in the morning (edit: I do have to report). I wonder, given my occupation, if they'll let me sit. I think I'd have a hard time being selected for almost any civil matter. It will be interesting to say though. I'm 50/50 on it... I knew for about two weeks that I may be called tomorrow, so I scheduled tomorrow kind of lightly work wise. If I have to sit for one day, it won't put me behind. Beyond that though, it may get complicated. We'll see what happens. My gut feel is that I won't be called.

It's 10:23a now. I'll just keep killing time until.... there's no time to kill. That's all well and good, except that I do have a lot of work to do this afternoon and I wish I could get a jump on it now. What are you going to do? That's just life.

When it's time, I'll be ready.

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