Swing-and-a-miss

So I dug into the right handed batter's box... although it would probably more accurate to say that I "fell" into it, given that my left foot sank into the indention there that has been rutted out by countless players before me. I wanted to take some pitches this time, I felt that in my last at bat I had been too aggressive and swung at a pitch that I didn't really like. I still got on base, but I didn't square the ball up the way I wanted to. It was a 2-0 count and the pitcher dropped in a called strike, so it was now 2-1. I hate looking at pitches. The longer I stand up there, the more I think and the worse I go. If it were up to me, I'd swing at the first pitch every time just so I didn't have to stand up there, think about my stance, remind myself to keep my back foot "in the bucket" as I always tell myself, continually size up the 3B and SS, make sure my back elbow is up, am I open enough?, what does a good pitch look like?, are my hands in the right place?.... I hate it. The longer I stand there, the more questions I ask myself and the more unlikely it seems that I'll get a hit.

So after looking at three pitches in this at bat, I wanted to swing, dad gummit. I didn't want to have to continue going over that silly checklist in my mind... In the batter's box, I'm like a fat kid at the swimming pool; just a little bit uncomfortable.

The fourth pitch was getting swung at, no matter what. It came in and was pretty far outside. By this time, I'd convinced myself that I couldn't tell a bad pitch from a good one. I stepped toward with my front foot and put a long, loopy swing on the ball. And missed. Before the catcher could throw it back to the pitcher I turned around and said "That won't ever happen again." And so far this season, it hasn't.

One of my all time favorite songs is Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel. See the live version of it here.
I've spent a good deal of debating on what the song was REALLY about. Some years ago I thought I found an answer. I thought it was about coming to terms with your faith. But not just coming to terms with your faith, but CELEBRATING it. This analysis seemed to fit the song perfectly and for a while I was content that I'd solved it.

I read an interpretation of it once that put the terms in context of a person being committed to a mental institution, not by his choice, and his feelings of being taken away from (or to?) there. But I never liked that one very much, and always felt the my faith my interpretation was more fitting, particularly given some the lines in the song: "turning water into wine"... "I will show another me/ Today I don't need a replacement/ I'll show them what the smile on face meant"... and "I did not believe the information/ I just had to trust imagination..."

I would also be remiss if I didn't point out how often I'd sing this song to myself on my nightly walks around Queen Anne in Seattle when I'd reach the Kerry Park viewpoint (because I'm awesome like that). No matter how many times I saw this, I always admired it. Often, I'd repeat the first two lines of "Solsbury Hill" to myself when passing by or admiring this view of the city.

So the other night, completely randomly, I read Peter Gabriel's entry on Wikipedia. There was a section devoted to Gabriel's departure from "Genesis" to go out on his own. And there it was, in cold black and white.... "Solsbury Hill, Gabriel's début single as a solo artist, was written specifically about his departure from Genesis." Read the entire entry here. While I do know that one shouldn't trust completely what is found on Wikipedia, I was still a little bit floored. If I had a nickel for everytime I've listened to "Solsbury Hill" and been moved by it, on one level or another.... well, I'd have a lot of nickels. I just couldn't believe that I missed it though, what the song was actually about. I didn't need to listen to it again, I knew that it fit Gabriel's departure from "Genesis" like a rubber glove. And sure, it COULD be about accepting and celebrating faith. But it isn't. At least, now I don't think it is. I just think it's about Peter Gabriel leaving "Genesis"... And that's fine. It doesn't diminish my apprecation of the song any, and to be honest, when I hear it, I'm still going to go to my analysis of it, I think. It just bothers me that, for all the time I put into it, I was probably wrong. Or was wrong.

There's no catcher to turn around to and say "that won't ever happen again".... But still, that same ticked off feeling is there, of a swing-and-a-miss.